Today was a hard day.

Right now, I want nothing but to leave this little town and be surrounded by unfamiliar things. I'm planning to head to the big city this November, and though I hate Manila , I think I'll be looking into staying there for  quite  sometime. Life in this little town has been wonderful, but I see myself somewhere else in the future.

Money isn't the motivation. It's just that I thirst for change, I want to drink up the city lights and spend some lonely nights far away from home. I think its good for the soul, I believe we all need some lonely time so we can grow. In a big city, I will feel small, but I hope to encounter kind souls along the way. And maybe, I just might find where I belong.

Lately I've been rethinking what I really want in life. Growing up in a Christian family, I've always been the good kid who was doing every ministry possible. I am thankful for the kind of life God has blessed me with and I wouldn't have it any another way. But right now, I am seeing endless opportunities of serving people outside the church. I am looking at career opportunities with some international organizations, and I think this will be the path on which I'll set my eyes on from now on.

My Mom would have emotional episodes every now and then, she's been convincing me to stay here in Olongapo. Although nothing is sure right now, I know that Manila might just be the closest destinations I'll be in. I see myself everywhere in this world, the intentions are not so I can have travel photos, but the intention is rooted in my hunger for culture, stories, and passion for serving people. Sometimes I would even regret pursuing a Communication Arts degree when I could have pursued medicine, and be a doctor. I've been thinking what skill I can offer , how will my degree help others? What can I do to help people?

I always dreamed of telling the stories of people in war torn countries. Dangerous as it might be, I was thinking maybe its what I can offer. Maybe I can be the one to tell the story of that young girl in Zamboanga, or that mother in Syria, or that soldier fighting in the front lines in Iraq. Maybe, maybe.

With this kind of life I want to live. maybe I'll end up single for the rest of my life. Who would fall in love with a woman like me? Well I don't know. Lately I've been feeling the desire to have someone with me. I believe we need more companionship than loneliness. I didn't learn how to cook only for myself after all. I think it's wonderful to have someone to talk to at the end of the day. Well in the meantime, I think I'll just continue writing at the end of the day.

This has been random, and slightly therapeutic.
Until next time.

Love,
Trish