Summer Journal
1:01 AM
I am two days away from going back to school for my last year in College. I am the least bit of excited as I feel as though I have just began to enjoy my break. But I feel more grateful because I finally am on my last year, and God has proven himself faithful.
The past two months has been filled with activities, but I long for something more.
I struggled to wake up early. Waking up early in the morning always made me productive and energetic. But this summer I have failed to see the sunrise on my own. There were many good nights when I would be into my creative zone so much I couldn't sleep, but plenty of my nights were spent lying on my bed scrolling endlessly through my social feeds. I hate how paralyzed social media can make me. I hate how I lacked the self control to just put my devices away and call it a night. And so in my effort to try to live in the present, I have set a side my phone for 4 days. I am yet to put my tablet away too.
Sadly, it's just this week that I finally got to ride my bike with some friends. Although it turned out to be a funny disaster, it was fun. Its nice to see the empty road and just let the wind touch my face. Halfway through our bike ride my friend got a flat tire. Although I brought an extra tube, I forgot to bring the necessary tools in order to take out the tire. We were on the side of the road, away from the city, and there's no one to help us. For the first time ever, I had to contact my Dad asking him if its even possible to take out the tire without the tools. He responded by asking where we were and that he is going to pick us up. And so after 20 minutes my Dad came and we loaded three bikes in the van. I said sorry for bothering him, but my Dad kind as he was just laughed and said it was all okay.
The twenty minutes we had before my Dad arrived was spent chatting and thinking whether we can get away with swimming in the waters below us. We were near a beach resort and the last time we tried to swim in the same location a man in a kayak came for us. But before he can actually catch us , we were able to climb up and get back on our bikes , the timing was perfect. We even said goodbye to him and laughed and screamed the rest of the way.
But yesterday, I think we realized we've gotten ourselves in enough trouble to even get ourselves in another one.
Last Monday I also got to enjoy the sunset with my parents, something we hadn't done in a while. This summer has been extremely busy for us, especially for my dad. He goes home with barely any strength. Back in my teenage years, we would always come to the park after he comes home from work. But now, there's just too much going on and now I truly realize how difficult it is to be a pastor. Your work is not limited to office hours. Some days there would be a person who would ask for counsel , or someone would invite you to pray for their family, or pray for a sick person, or sometimes you would even administer a funeral service all in a week. Plus add the time spent at the office preparing for Sunday service.
There are times when I wish people would stop asking my Dad to come and minister to them, because I just miss enjoying life with my family. But when that thought comes I need to quickly stop myself, because I know this is the calling God has for my Dad, and it will be for the rest of his life. How I pray that I could be as selfless as my Dad.
For now, I thank the Lord for these brief but beautiful moments I get to spend with the people I love most.
I am sure next summer would be different. I'll be a fresh graduate and begin a brand new chapter in life. But I know it would be the beginning of an even crazier adventure. I trust God's plan for my life and I keep it in my heart. And although I am not very excited about going back to school on Monday, I know that the faster I get through this the sooner I get to step out of my comfort zone.
I am ready to live no matter what the season. Its really all about perspective.
Goodbye summer, I'll see you next year.
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