Just so you know, whatever i'm gonna be studying  and wherever im going to study is not the one i imagined and kept hoping for so long. I waited for a year and a half, hoping that by this time around i can finally take up something i wanted, and somewhere i can get the best possible education. I dreamed really BIG dreams, but circumstances made it impossible for me to pursue it. And now as i think of this, it hurts to admit that maybe i didn't really try so hard. Maybe i didn't fight for it enough, and maybe all the wait is worthless.

But i try to focus on the present, and forget the past. I'm learning that some dreams we have aren't really the one's that will be the best for us. And although the wait seems to amount to nothing because i will end up not reaching the goal, i couldn't forget the fact that during those times when i was off from school, i had the best and most challenging times in my entire life time.

During those times, i prayed and sought without hearing from God, which lead me to a state of doubt & almost unbelief. I questioned my purpose, and became bitter in life. Another time, i had enjoyed so much Intimacy with my Maker, which is one of the advantages of having a lot of free time, i just get to spend so much time in worship & devotion. I also had the opportunity to serve on board Logos hope, and become a volunteer at project life. I was given the chance to explore more of my art, and get into sports, which was so fun for me!

Maybe, the wait was worth it.

I think, i really needed that time to grow. Not everyone needs to quit school to grow, but somehow i had to. I had to discover more of why i am here, more of my passion and more of my Maker. And though it seems nothing much has changed since i left school, i know deep within me i am wiser & more mature. And part of becoming mature is facing responsibilities and doing things that sometimes you don't like. Part of me is only going to school just to make my parents happy, and another part of me is thinking of a thousand reasons why i can be successful without needing education (sorry i can't help it).

But as i have said, i am now wiser, so yes it is wise to finish my studies. Sometimes the "adventurous" & "risk-taker" side of me comes out from time to time too, telling me life ain't all about job, and diploma so why go to school? To be honest, it's quite confusing sometimes, but i try to focus on what will make the people around me happy... and i hope it will make  me happy too. This should be the best for me.

My prayer is that God would reveal Himself to me more deeply as i take this path. I hope this is where i  really should be. I pray He replaces all these confusion with peace, and help me sort things in my life... this should be the best, after all not everyone get the opportunity to study. I am grateful!


Oh well, that's all. I'm going back to school! THIS SHOULD BE FUN!!! :)) Hopes UUUUUPPPPP!